A Raleigh Therapist's Blog

Thoughts on counseling, healing, and creating the life you want

Failure is Feedback

“One who fears failure limits his activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again.” —Henry Ford

I have to admit something to you. I almost didn’t write a blog on this topic. Here’s the reason why: if you took me seriously on this idea in any area of your life it would put me right out of business. Finally, a tid bit that can be applied to anything you can imagine, because in its simplicity, it is revolutionary.

Over the years I have worked with a number of highly-accomplished clients. These folks are professional athletes, politicians, business owners and entertainers. You would recognize their names if I told them to you, but since I’m an ethical and law-abiding kind of therapist I won’t do that. Seeing as how I won’t spill those goods, I’ll just give you the important part. Would you like to know the difference between these folks and the rest of us mere mortals?  They believe that failure is feedback. 

Many individuals have a faulty interior logic that tells them that if they don’t succeed the first few times, they probably aren’t meant to do that thing. Worse, they may believe that these initial missteps before greatness are evidence that something is amiss in their intelligence or creativity. High-achieving individuals brainstorm about how their failures give them evidence of the way forward. What new twist or turn has been added to the map that you couldn’t see before? What has become clear?

Therapy is helpful because with help, you can quit catastrophizing and break your goals down into small enough pieces that they become possible. What prep work do you need to do in order to make these successes happen? The worst move you can make is to do too much too soon because you are ashamed that what you envision hasn’t already materialized. Let’s discover why failure has happened in the past and use that as a template to make the microadjustments that will get you on the path to achieving all that you are capable of doing.

Why don’t you come on in so that we can talk about it? I would be delighted to co-architect a plan for an exciting new year.

Your Partner in Healing,

Are you looking for compassionate individual, couples or group therapy in Raleigh? Call me today to schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation to learn how counseling can help you. Please contact me at (919) 714-7455 or email me at holly@lotustherapycenter.com. Visit me on the web at www.lotustherapycenter.com or:

Twitter: HollyCoxLMFT

Pinterest:DrHollyCox

Facebook: Lotus Therapy Center

Google +: Holly Cox

 

 

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Why I Love Working with College Students

I don’t know if anyone has ever told you guys this, but getting a Ph.D. takes forever. I honestly thought that I would be strolling across that stage flanked by my grandkids, leaning on my walker before I ever finished the darn thing. It wasn’t too bad, because I’m one of those weirdos that loved graduate school. My undergraduate studies, however, were a different story.

I am always excited to see college students in my practice because I keenly remember what it was like to be one. Though I hit my stride in graduate school, I found the rush and confusion of my undergraduate program to be challenging. During my Master’s and Doctoral degrees, I studied psychotherapy or something related to it all day, every day. Life made sense. But, during those first four years, running from Underwater Basket Weaving to Spanish to Women’s Lit all in one day fried my brain. Fortunately, I learned to survive and thrive, managing both my classes and extracurricular activities. Despite the many obstacles to my success (like Algebra and my love for dying my hair purple) I still graduated from my undergraduate program as Editor-in-Chief of my university’s student newspaper. Who knows, if this therapy gig gets old, I might get a press pass and head back into the journalistic fray.

If you or your student is anything like I was back then, and could use some guidance in finding the track to success, a few sessions with me could be just the ticket. Counseling can help students get perspective on many of the common issues facing college students of any age. Here are just a few of the concerns I can help you or your student address:

  • Fears about exams and class performance
  • Difficulty fitting in and making friends
  • Worries about communicating effectively with instructors
  • Troubles with roommates and other peers
  • Finding activities that suit your personality
  • Choosing internships and talking with potential supervisors
  • Changing relationships with parents and old friends
  • Social Anxiety
  • Dating and sexual concerns

As this semester draws to a close, why don’t you come on in so that we can figure out how to make next term the best one yet? I promise there won’t be an exam, and I’ll teach you what I remember of Underwater Basket Weaving.

Your Partner in Healing,

Holly

Are you looking for individual, couples or group therapy in Raleigh? Call me today to schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation to learn how counseling can help you. Please contact me at (919) 714-7455 or email me at holly@lotustherapycenter.com. Visit me on the web at www.lotustherapycenter.com or:

Twitter: HollyCoxLMFT

Pinterest:DrHollyCox

Facebook: Lotus Therapy Center

Google +: Holly Cox

 

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