A Raleigh Therapist's Blog

Thoughts on counseling, healing, and creating the life you want

Couples Therapy is Awkward and Other Non-News.

One of the greatest things that’s happened to me like, ever, was that time I wrote a blog post about a Duran Duran song and someone in charge of their official twitter account read it and retweeted it. I’m sure the person behind this personal win of mine was some sad-faced publicist for the band languishing in a grim cubicle out in California. But, I prefer to believe that Simon Le Bon was chillin’ by a pool in the Mediterranean somewhere when he happened upon my humble corner of the internet and thought to himself, “This woman is brilliant! I must share her wisdom with the world.” In case you’re wondering, yes, I have this daydream a lot and no, I’m not proud of it.

I think the word you’re probably looking for as you try to picture me staring off into space mooning around over a tweet is awkward. I can own it. I’m a big girl. As a matter of fact, I’m quite accustomed to more than a casual participation in not only my own awkward moments, but also others’ as well. In my work as a couples therapist I have the happy responsibility of being a party to some of the most embarrassing and uncomfortable conversations folks ever have.

Therapy chats are never awkward because my clients are weirdos. Rather, these interactions feel strange because I am asking you to have the same conversations you always have in a new way. It’s fairly common for me to ask clients to reenact a conversation that seems to go around and around without resolution. Then, we begin to reshape that argument into a fertile ground for new understandings.  Just as a spoiler, I tend to spend a lot of time encouraging new communication skills and interrupting some of your perfectly good points during this process. Folks can find participating in these reworked conversations scary for several very good reasons:

1) It feels weird

2) You can’t imagine that any new information can be mined from the same old conversation–even if it’s being had in a new way

3) If you suddenly participate in that conversation differently you worry that your partner will always demand this weird new way (that you’re not sure you can commit to yet)

4) You’re not sure you want to be vulnerable enough to have the conversation in a different way

5) You may have old communication habits from your life experiences or family or origin that contradict the new skills we’re developing

However, the good news is that everyone has the capacity to skillfully rework the manner in which they participate in their relationships. I have faith in you. So don’t worry that you’ll feel awkward when you come to couples therapy. I can guarantee you that you will. But, if you have the patience to tolerate the weird for a while who knows what great things can happen? Why don’t you come on in so we can talk about it.

Your Partner in Healing,

Holly

Are you looking for individual, couples or group therapy in Raleigh? Call me today to schedule a consultation to learn how counseling can help you. Please contact me at (919) 714-7455 or email me at holly@lotustherapycenter.com. Visit me on the web at www.lotustherapycenter.com or:

Twitter: HollyCoxLMFT

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Premarital Counseling: Building a Toolbox for Success

Premarital counseling is still one of those things folks don’t talk about very much. I mean, if it ain’t broke, why fix it, right? But your marriage could be so much better and more rewarding if you anticipate the places in which marriages often get broken a few years after they start. Premarital counseling helps you build a toolbox full of helpful remedies for the common problems couples face.

Committed partnerships are a ‘you don’t know what you don’t know’ kind of endeavor. Often, you’re far afield of your original dreams and intentions before you even know how that happened. What kinds of things should you be examining before you tie the knot? Here’s my list:

1) Finances: I have found this an interesting difference between working in NC and practicing in Florida. Lots of couples here have separate bank accounts. I don’t inherently have a problem with this, but I am interested in how couples decide to either merge or create boundaries around their monies. If you want a really good, sane and easy way to get started talking about this topic, I recommend The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. My husband and I used to take turns reading this book out loud to one another on trips to the grocery store or gym. It took us awhile to get through it, but reading it together at the same pace allowed us to stop, make observations and even argue about things we weren’t sure how to implement in our household.

2) Careers: This can encompass all kinds of things. Will one of you support the other while he or she goes back to school? If so, what are your opinions about accruing student loan debt? Are you willing to move for your partner’s job if that is necessary or desirable? If you have children, will one of you stay home with the kids? If one of you wants to start a business, how will you save for that and plan for it?

3) Children: Do you want any? How many? A guaranteed barrier to happiness is believing that you can bring your partner around to your ideas about having or not having kids. You should always go into the marriage as if your partner will stick to his or her guns about this topic. If one or both of you already has children, what role will the new spouse play in those children’s lives in terms of discipline and decision-making?

4) Living Situation: Where will you live? Are you comfortable moving to another city or state? How long will you wait before you buy a home? If one or both you owns homes already, what will you do with them?

5) Sex: What is alright and what is taboo? Is pornography an OK adjunct to your sex life or do you believe it is  exploitative or wrong? What assumptions do you have about how your sexual bond will change and/or deepen after you get married?

6) Conflict Resolution: All of us have problem-solving techniques we have picked up along the way from our families of origin and other relationships. What are your preferred means for working out troubles? Do you like to talk it out or take a break? When is a conversation heated as opposed to aggressive?

7) Technology: What roles will Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social networking sites play in your social lives? With whom can your new spouse connect? What are the boundaries around cell phones, emails and texting with others outside of the marriage? How will you decide in which instances to put your phones away (dinner, before bed, etc.)?

Those are just a few of the many topics we cover in premarital counseling sessions. With what concerns do you need to reach a collaborative understanding on as you move forward? I would love to have you in to talk about it.

Your Partner in Healing,

Holly

Are you looking for compassionate individual, couples or group therapy in Raleigh? Call me today to schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation to learn how counseling can help you. Please contact me at (919) 714-7455 or email me at holly@lotustherapycenter.com. Visit me on the web at www.lotustherapycenter.com or:

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Making your Relationship Work: The Fine Art of Losing the Battle to Win the War

There are lots of things I teach couples in my therapy room. Some of them aren’t even about counseling. Ask the couple who endured my rousing rendition of  “Toma” by Pitbull whilst telling them a story about the importance of stress relief and date nights. Talk about helping couples find a way to talk about difficult relationship topics. Sometimes, I mostly just herd them back towards constructive conversation with the threat of awkward rapping and terrible dancing. Score.

But if you were there with us in that session, the other topic you would have heard us discussing is how to lose fights in your marriage. Yes–you heard me–how to lose a fight. I know it would be more PC of me to couch this whole thing in terms like “de-escalation of aggression” and “a collaborative vision of problem solving.” But, sometimes you just have to call the thing what it is. And, what it feels like to back down from your opinion when you don’t want to do so is losing the argument. But, stay with me here. There is wisdom in losing the battle to win the war.

We live in a society that values a high degree of individuation.  The idea is to discover who you are, and then to advocate for yourself vigorously. And, I like that, I really do. But I also know that the things out there that want to pull our committed partnerships apart are many and they are powerful. I don’t need to list them here, you probably could name 20 for me. So, we have to learn to knit back together what the world tears away. And, part of the way we do that is by ceding ground when it won’t be emotionally or spiritually impoverishing for us to do so. Here are a few examples:

1. What are you nit-picking about that you could decide to let go because the universe won’t implode if it isn’t done that way?

2. What could you do for your partner that would irritate you, but lighten his or her load?

3. What can you laugh about that before you would have taken too seriously?

I have said before, and I will say again, that couples come to me in order to figure out how to offer one another extravagant kindness. That is at the root of healing from anything you face together–addictions, affairs, anger management issues, loss of affection and intimacy…etc., etc., etc. Believe me, kindness is more challenging and complex than any other reaction you could possibly have. That’s why most of us (a certain rapping therapist included) are too emotionally lazy to take that route a good portion of the time. That’s where the work always, always is.

Are you ready to start fortifying your union against the onslaughts of the world? Would you like to hone your relationship skills to a sharper point? Why don’t you come on in so that we can talk about it? I would love to have you.

Your Partner in Healing,

Holly

Are you looking for compassionate individual, couples or group therapy in Raleigh? Call me today to schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation to learn how counseling can help you. Please contact me at (919) 714-7455 or email me at holly@lotustherapycenter.com. Visit me on the web at www.lotustherapycenter.com or:

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Becoming the Change You Want to See in Your Marriage

 “When you make another suffer, he will try to find relief by making you suffer more.” –Thich Nhat Hanh

Do you see that handsome devil over there to left? Yeah, I know, he looks a little like he might be able to kill you with his Jedi mind tricks.       Shoot, if I was going to put my money on someone who actually does have Jedi mind tricks, it would be that guy. Let’s all be really still and       back away slowly…

Just kidding. This is Thich Nhat Hanh. He is a Vietnamese buddhist monk who among other things, was nominated by Martin Luther King Jr. for a Nobel Peace prize for his work in non-violent civil disobedience. So, I think if anyone was going to know a few things about feeling justifiably upset and finding a constructive way to channel it, Thich Nhat Hanh wins.

I think often of my buddhist friend as I go into session with couples who are staging bloody rebellions within their own relationships. When the stakes are so high, the bitterness can grow exponentially. But, it doesn’t have to do that. You can relate to those with whom you disagree with kindness. Yes, even that fool you’re married to who left his or her socks on the floor for the 45th time this week. Thich Nhat Hanh says that the real antidote for anger is compassion. And I for one, think he’s right.

In my work as a couples therapist I always have the distinct pleasure of being obliged to see both sides of a story. Rather than viewing arguments as cause and effect, I see the troubles couples endure as circular. Each reaction begs the other, and when there are no changes in the cycle it begins to escalate out of control. So, it’s more important than nearly anything else to inject a difference into the loop somewhere. It sounds good, sure, but you must be wondering how to do something that lofty. What if you’re not feeling particularly compassionate? Where should you start?

1) Getting clear: When couples come to see me, they are usually fighting about fighting. That’s right, I said it. They have lost all sight of the original issues in a more meaningful way, and become fixated on the deficits in the communication. This back biting about one’s partner’s sparring technique leaves very little room for working on the underlying issues. Actually, it’s the easy way out. Most couples fight about fighting so that they can back away from more important things like feeling afraid, vulnerable, betrayed or unloved. Next time you start to have a rock-’em-sock-’em moment with your partner, take a step back and try to imagine why your partner might be feeling defensive. What more fragile emotion might this be covering? Does thinking about that more vulnerable emotion help you slow down and ask better questions?

2) You’re Always ____: If you want a really quick way to tick off just about every person I can think of, it’s to totalize their entire existence into a few catch words. Couples that live together get a good feel for the other person. The other thing we get crafty at quickly is developing a sort of relationship short-hand about one another. This sounds something like, “You always ____” or “You never___.” In all honesty, you probably know what you’re talking about when you note that your partner mostly does things in a certain way. But it isn’t helpful to lead your partner to believe that he or she is the sum total of a behavior or attitude you don’t like. Can you find evidence to the contrary? Can you present those differences in a way that inspire collaboration rather than defensiveness? Thich Nhat Hanh would be proud!

3) Can’t sit here: (Please say that in the Forrest Gump movie voice.) Many couples want to avoid issues that are disturbing. However, if this is the sort of on-going trouble that is getting you back up to fighting about fighting because you don’t want to touch it with a 10-foot pole, you need to address it. Some issues continue to surface because they speak volumes about how the couple supports one another and negotiates conflict with kindness. What is the worst thing that could happen if you bring out the issues that petrify you the most? What is the best thing that could happen?

Do you need a consultation about how to get your relationship back on track? Why don’t you give me a call so that we can build a plan for you today.

Your Partner in Healing,

Are you looking for individual, couples or group therapy in Raleigh? Call me today to schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation to learn how counseling can help you. Please contact me at (919) 714-7455 or email me at holly@lotustherapycenter.com. Visit me on the web at www.lotustherapycenter.com or:

Twitter: HollyCoxLMFT

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How Does Your Garden Grow?

Would you like the short and skinny on how to choose a partner (and friends too for that matter) that won’t let you down? I’m going to let you in on a little-known secret–people will show you through their actions how they intend to treat you.  I’m not being smug. I think this is one of the secrets we keep from ourselves because it enables to hang on to those individuals in our lives who we love, and who could be doing better by us, but for some reason don’t.

Many of us are great at seeing the potential in our partners. Sure, they might be acting like a first-rate goon now. But, there are good moments. Moments with beautiful flashes of intimacy and understandings so clear that we can get glimpses of the wealth of greatness inside them.

That’s nice. But it isn’t helping you avoid the jerks is it? Now hear this.

Every plot of land has the potential to be a beautiful garden of some sort. But without careful watering, weeding and attention, it’s still just a patch of dirt. Are you with a co-gardener who is in process, or someone who is happy to watch the weeds grow? It’s important to evaluate your partner not only by what he or she is capable of, but also what he or she has shown you in present behaviors. It’s a beautiful thing to delight in others’ potential and help them reach it, even when they fall. But it is also a beautiful thing to reach your own potential and realize your own dreams of whole, fulfilling relationships. Are you watering someone else’s garden while watching yours grow over?

Why don’t you give me a ring so we can talk about it? I’m looking forward to hearing from you!

Your partner in healing,

Holly

Are you looking for individual, couples or group therapy in the Raleigh? Call me today to schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation to see how counseling can help you. Please contact me at (919) 714-7455 or email me at holly@lotustherapycenter.com. Visit me on the web at www.lotustherapycenter.com.

 

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Couples Therapy Primer–What NOT to Do

Every now and again I do a quick and dirty what to expect from Marriage counseling. Usually, it’s a what-to-expect kind of column to help newbies get more out of the experience. I like to keep things positive and focus on the best ways to access new skills. However, there  are a few things that can really derail your progress in my therapy room. So this time, I’m going to give you a what-not- to-do column.

1) She likes me, she really likes me:  It’s only human to want your therapist to like you best. Seriously, you’re in there pouring your souls out to a person you’ve hired to make your life better. Who wouldn’t want that person to be you cheerleader #1? But, couples hire therapists to be on the side of the relationship. So, if your therapist is challenging you about some aspect of the way you participate in coupledom it’s not because she hates you. It’s because she sees how you can make this strange beast–the relationship–even better, and she wants to help you hold up your end of the bargain. Give good feedback to your therapist and your partner about how the experience of processing your part of the couples conundrum is feeling for you. If the therapist starts to bring up feelings similar to the ones you feel with your partner, then take that opportunity to get to the bottom of how those emotions come up in you, and how you can work with your partner to address them successfully.

2) The truth, the whole truth, and nothin’ but the truth: Sometimes couples therapy doesn’t happen soon enough, or the problems are grevious enough that the relationship falls apart anyway. But, as a therapist, what really roasts my chestnuts is when folks come in to drop their partners off with me. They make a drive-by pass at couples therapy so they can say they tried it, and ultimately really want to make sure their partner has someone to fall back on when they do what they were planning on doing anyway–leaving. If you know you’re undecided about continuing on in the partnership, let your therapist know so that she can talk with you and your partner honestly about how difficult and heartbreaking that limbo experience must be.

3) Keep it in your pants: Many therapists will keep secrets for clients who are carrying on affairs behind their partners’ backs. I have a strict policy against this. Therapy is a great vehicle for working out issues of infidelity and finding healing for both the person who stepped outside the union and the betrayed partner. However, this can only happen if everyone knows that the infidelity has occurred. If you come to therapy and haven’t yet told your spouse, I will be glad to work with you towards doing that in a sensitive way. However, I will not help you continue to lie to your partner.

4) A bushel and a peck: My couples clients know that I usually take a backwards in approach. Rather than working on the really big issues first (which will be there anyway, I promise) I usually start with figuring out how communication has broken down, and give assignments to work on this. I once heard this described as looking at the tree rather than focusing on the fruit.

5) Do your homework: I give clients homework between sessions to build a bridge between meetings and keep the fires of learning stoked. If you’re cooking, you don’t turn on the stove and then turn it off…and then turn it on…and then turn it off. I assume that if we have stirred up difficult emotions during session, that it is in your best interests to continue to work through these collaboratively outside of session as well. Just coming in once a week for an hour-long conversation is not enough. Believe me,  I am helping you have a shorter, more cost-effective course of therapy this way. I ask clients to email me their homework before session so that I can have a chance to read and reflect upon it before we meet again. This way, I will have a bridge between sessions too, and be ready to hit the ground running with the progress you have made when we’re not together.

So, there you have it–a cheat sheet for getting the most out of your couples counselor. Good luck!

Your Partner in Healing,

Holly

www.lotustherapycenter.com

If you would like to take advantage of a FREE 30-minute consultation to see how therapy can improve your life, just drop me a line at holly@lotustherapycenter.com or call (407)-913-4988.

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Happy Father's Day

I knew when I became a mother that the most difficult part of my job as a parent would be to let my husbanad help me. This isn’t because my husband isn’t as smart, funny, or gentle as I am. It’s because I (like many I suppose) partially bought into the myth that fathers are the stage hands and mothers the center-stage nurturers. Now that Gabe is here, I realize just how essential his Daddy time is.

Recent research on the nature of father-child bonds has come up with some really cool results about the importance of the old man in our children’s lives.  Let’s celebrate the awesomness of dad– here are just a few bits of the data that are emerging.

* Fathers help bolster children’s cognitive capacities, especially verbal skills. Researchers at the University of Chapel Hill have discovered that though fathers speak fewer words to their children, fathers (not mothers) largely determine their children’s language development by age three. Researchers attribute this to fathers’ tendency to ask more questions and ask for additional clarification from their children. The folks conducting the study thought this might be because mothers understood their toddler’s utterances better, and thus did not push children for longer explanations.

*Researchers have found that kids who have stable, involved dads fare better on nearly every measurement that researchers have studied. Children whose fathers are very engaged in their lives are more confident, display more self-control, and are less likely to act out in school.

*Fathers have a different style of play than mothers and are more likely to encourage their kids to take on risks and challenges. Researchers report that men have less predictable play patterns, and that presenting kids with surprises rather than conventional games may boost children’s problem-solving skills.

There you have it–proof positive that when your dad asks you to explain yourself for the 10th time, or risk life and limb in some bizarre yard clearing event (maybe that’s just me) he’s actually building your brain. I hope all the fathers out there had a wonderful day, and will continue to invest in their kids all year ’round.

Your partner in healing,

Holly

www.lotustherapycenter.com

*If you would like to come in for a free consultation to see how therapy might be helpful for you, please call me at (407) 913-4988, or email me at holly@lotustherapycenter.com.

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How Family Therapists Read Minds

It is mostly true that professionals from all different types of clinical backgrounds including psychologists, mental health counselors, and social workers are qualified to do about the same sort of counseling work with you. For instance, as a group we are a pretty empathetic lot, prone to be the sort with a tissue in hand and a word of encouragement on our lips. Despite differences in our clinical orientation, each discipline is trained to work with a variety of presenting concerns, troubles, and mental health disorders.

But, I am almost always delighted that my actual background is in Family Therapy. The reason for this is that I within a few minutes of meeting someone I can usually do a brief mind-reading trick that is directly related to my background as a systemic therapist who is trained to place clients within the context of not just who they are now, but where they come from. I do this by knowing an awful lot about sibling order.

You see, despite our accomplishments or failings, the  individual quirks and tics that make up the tapestry of who we are every day, where we came about in the progression of our brothers and sisters often determines quite a bit about how we make sense of the world. I, for instance, am a classic oldest daughter. Strong, nurturing and a caretaker, I devoted myself to a career in which I could take care of the lives of people for a profession. And, true to form, I married a youngest child who would compliment my more assertive traits with his ability to accomodate a certain amount of bossiness and shall we say(charitably), confidence in the way things should go.

Clients often express the traits that come along with their sibling order in the way they manifest anxieties about their relationships. Do they help too much and get themselves hooked up with individuals they will be forever rescuing? How about those folks who are forever choosing partners who dominate them and never permit them to have a voice? These traits are expressed everywhere we interact with others including our jobs, friendships, and romantic partners. And, imagine how your emotional worldview is further impacted by the degree to which you were excluded from or triangulated into your parents’ relationship. My training as a family therapist has allowed me to see people not just as solo stars burning away in their own dark sky, but as vibrant parts of a constellation of people who have directly impacted their hopes, dreams, and beliefs about who they are.

Why not contact me today to see how you can use the strengths of your sibling order to improve your life?

Your Partner in Healing,

Holly

www.lotustherapycenter.com

Follow me on twitter! My twitter ID is HollycoxLMFT

If you would like a FREE 30-MINUTE CONSULTATION contact me at 407-913-4988 or holly@lotustherapycenter.com to see if I how I can meet your needs.

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Couples Counseling and Your Relationship: Nuts and Bolts

Usually, the first question new couples therapy clients ask me is, “How is this going to work?” I have realized over the years that what clients expect relationship therapy to be like has been colored by TV and book gurus who are one part clinician and 3 parts side show act. This is unfortunate, because it gives folks the idea that a therapist may be all bluster and little substance. Or, worse still, may spend long sessions scolding, finger pointing, and offering grim criticisms that humiliate more than uplift.

In the spirit of informing folks that couples therapy can be a fun, enlightening process, here are a few basics about what you can expect in my counseling room. Every therapist is different, but anyone to whom you entrust your relationship should be able to articulate a clear philosophy of  couples counseling that is different from their individual work. Ask therapists what their training in couples work has been like, and why they are expanding their practice to include relationship and family work.

1) I think I can, I think I can: One of the first things I tell couples who are  contracting with me for couples work is that they can expect a pretty predictable pattern of with engagement during the process. First, there is some immediate relief simply by the act of triangulating another calm, positive person into the anxious escalations the couple has been experiencing. Then, after several sessions, there may be a brief backslide when couples panic about their ability to maintain new and different behaviors. Finally, couples relax into the process, make needed changes, and gradually phase out a need for a therapist to intervene in high-conflict situations.

2) Write it out: I will take notes during my meetings with you so that I can document specific information you have given me, themes we notice, and ideas we have for future sessions. I prefer for couples to bring their own journal to therapy as well, to take notes in their own words about what has been meaningful to them and to record homework assignments. Couples that do this have better success because they create a reminder of the conclusions they have reached in a calm, safe, environment.

3) Be Consistent: Remember that advice your doctor gave you about taking your whole course of antibiotics, even after you feel better? Therapy is much the same. We will work together to triage the most important problems first, and get you and your partner to a place where you can communicate better with one another. This alone will make you both feel better. But, to really take advantage of the counseling, it is important to work on the underlying issues that inform the symptoms that form the initial complaints.

If you have any questions about the process of relationship counseling, please let me know. I would be delighted to answer them.

Your Partner in Healing,

Holly

If you would like a FREE 30-minute consultation to see if I might be a fit for your counseling needs, please contact me at 407.913.4988 or holly@nova.edu.

www.lotustherapycenter.com

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Are you having an Online Affair?

A few weeks ago, I posted a blog about a website that helps married people find other married people with whom to start affairs. Since the good people at wordpress are kind enough to provide me with stats about what folks are looking for when they stumble across my site, I have discovered that most of the people coming through this blog lately are reading that particular article and searching for the term ‘online affair.’

It makes sense that this is one of the most-searched terms on people’s finger tips these days. As the world at our door grows larger and larger via the connections we can make online, humans will continue to do what we’re good at–explore new things. However for some, exploring this new frontier has proved to be anything but harmless fun. Rather, it has allowed them to put themselves into positions that both they and their partners may view as the new gray area of relationship ethics. So how will you know if you’re starting to sail some dangerous waters? Here are a few warning signs:

1) Don’t ask don’t tell: Are parts or all of your online relationship a secret? The best litmus test for knowing if your interactions with an online “friend” are starting to stray into an emotional affair is to ask yourself if you would be afraid or ashamed for your partner to read anything you have exchanged between the two of you. Yes, I know, your online amiga or amigo may be a much better listener, or more sympathetic, or funnier than your real-life spouse. But, that person also doesn’t see you in your dirty underwear or listen to you snore at night. It’s easy to build up intimacy in cyber space. Even if you have known or know your pen pal in real life, that is very different than 24-hour contact. The very fact that you are starting to share personal details of your life is a warning sign. You are building intimacy with every click of your mouse. Emotional infidelity can pave the way towards physical infidelity by creating the illusion that you are meant to be together because you understand one another so well. This is particularly true if you are sharing derogatory information about your partner and recieving support in your frustration with him or her.

2) Take a look at me now: Are you sharing pictures of yourself with your online friend or getting pictures of him or her? It doesn’t matter if these photos are sexual in nature, or a shot of you in front of great grandma’s house. This indicates that it has become important to you or to your friend to “know” one another in an increasingly personal way. Trading pictures is often the first step to initiating other forms of offline contact.

3) Thinking it over: Are you spending increasing amounts of time thinking about when you can next get online to write to, chat with, or web cam your friend? As the thoughts become more intrusive, they not only interfere with your ‘real’ life, but they further enforce the distance that is growing between you and your current partner. As you allow that distance to grow, and focus all your emotional energy into your online relationship, you are creating more of the problems in your primary relationship you may be seeking to escape by engaging with someone else.

There are many reasons why both men and women seek emotional or physical intimacy outside of their primary relationships. If you believe that your actions are starting to put your relationship at risk, or if you think your spouse might be seeking connection outside of your relationship, there is help. Individual and/or couples therapy can help you sort out what to do next, and how to move forward, whatever that means to you, in a healthy way. If you have any questions, please feel free to post them here, and I’ll do my best to briefly respond so that the folks who are stumbling across this blog can get some additional, tailored help.

Your Partner in Healing,

Holly

If you would like a FREE 30-MINUTE CONSULTATION please feel free to contact me at 407.913.4988 or holly@lotustherapycenter.com

www.lotustherapycenter.com

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