Your Anxiety and I are in Cahoots: Why Slowing Down Can Sharpen Your Saw

anger managementMany of my new client sessions start the same way these days:

“Doc, I need you to help me with my anxiety. I don’t know why this is happening, but lately I have been jumpy. I just feel dizzy and sort of disconnected from my body. I’m worried I’m going to have a panic attack or lose my cool in public. I just can’t have that.” I can’t say I blame them; the idea of having the body process go one way and the thinking self go another is pretty terrifying. We always expect our mental mandates to be Boss Hog, right? Body, fall in line, damn it.

My office is populated by the worried well–really busy, accomplished success stories with time for everything but themselves. What they want, they tell me, is for me to fix the unpleasant physical sensations that they are enduring so that they can continue on a million miles a minute at the current pace. The racing heart, racing thoughts, sweating, panting, insomnia and dizziness are kind of a drag. Hey, I’ve experienced them myself. Fair enough.

But, since I like all you good people, I’m going to do you a solid and not help you sell out your body. Nope. Not. Gonna. Do. It.

Think about the logic of this for a moment: If I were to instruct you to doggedly ignore your intuition with your clients, colleagues, partner or friends, you would think I was a doctoral level fruit cake. That’s mostly because nobody sees much of a win in not gathering as much information as possible in those important relational spaces. And, they’re a million percent right. So, why then do we think our body is rebelling against our best and highest ambitions when it desperately telegraphs out the information that something isn’t kosher at the ol’ ranch? Your body doesn’t have it in for you when it produces feelings of anxiety. As a matter of fact, your body’s main goal in life is to keep on surviving. With that in mind, we will begin to take a look at why it sabotages your busyness with that specific kind of speed bump. And, we will then set about partnering with your unique physiology to harness all that great body data rather than obliterating it.

You and I both know that we live in a culture that increasingly demands more outbound connectivity to our electronics and less inbound connectivity to our own wellbeing. While I could write a really long and pedantic diatribe about why that is, the main point I want to drive home is that your perfectly normal, well-intentioned body is trying to rescue you from yourself. Please let it.  We can work on how to maintain and sharpen your saw while taking the pressure off your body process and using it for what it is–information. When all your horses are pulling in the same direction you’re really in the race for the joy of the speed and the advancement–not because you’re frantically trying to catch up.

Are you ready to stop pathologizing yourself for your sensitivities? Would you like to learn a few new tricks about how to use those super powers for good? Why don’t you come on in so that we can talk about it.

Your Partner in Healing,


Are you looking for individual, couples or group therapy in Raleigh? Call me today to schedule a consultation to learn how counseling can help you. Please contact me at (919) 714-7455 or email me at Visit me on the web at or:

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