If there’s any one thing that I am extremely dedicated to doing when we first meet for couples therapy, it’s finding out how weird you are. I’ll just let that sink in, because I mean that in the most flattering of manners.
See, it’s like this–each relationship is similar to a thumbprint. Who you are together is different from who you would be alone, or who you would be with any other person you had chosen for yourself. Embedded in that conjoined uniqueness is the sweet spot for your relationship. And doggone it, I’m not going to stop until we find it, own it and honor it. You are in the process of writing a story together that doesn’t read like anyone else’s. I want to know more about it. Exploring each couple’s mythology and helping you reauthor disempowering narratives is my area of joy and expertise.
Couples often tell me that they like working with me because I’m irreverent. I can go with that, actually. But, part of the reason I make an effort to be silly sometimes is because it helps me find out more about a couple’s shared sense of humor. Remembering why you tickled one another–are you both dark and sarcastic or goofy and light hearted…do you have an even mix of both–helps me sort out how you will defuse conflicts with kindness and work on the darker parts of your story. Often, partners land in my office for pretty serious troubles. Affairs, spouses growing apart or big disconnects over boundaries are common topics in the therapy room. What gets you out of those holes is a ladder made of compassion and yes, humor.
Coming in to talk to a therapist can be a daunting task. Here you are with your private concerns, sitting with a complete stranger bent on asking you a multitude of personal things. Maybe your burdens are things you haven’t even admitted to your partner. Please know that I take that our commitment to working towards a better place seriously. I am grateful that you are allowing me the honor of helping you coauthor a new story of health, happiness and laughter. Why don’t you come on in so that we can get started making your union a lighter place?
Your Partner in Healing,
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